These weeks I had thoughts about what should I do with my life after ...

and the truth is that since I was a kid I wanted to become a stewardess and going at the University of Geography. I will be supposed to act like a different person and to speak in public (which I am bad. hope I will handle this in the near future).
But all my life I just wanted to be myself and people seeing that it is not pink everything in my life. I also have fears and ups and downs.
My ex-boyfriend told me that a librarian is a work for rats and I believed him (incredible human). I want to express my moods by writing what I see around me. I love to write and to compose but I am afraid that if somebody got too close to me, they might actually find out the truth that I am sloppy.

Well, for starters, I will apply to the Language College and hope I will succeed. Thank you for encouraging me, writer.

so 

I didn t post bc I had a lot of things to do these weeks. Some nights I didn t sleep bc a lot of stress but now I m a little bit ok. I m going on a trip next week to a cousin at her wedding in Belgium. of course I accepted.

What really happened these weeks:

I had a lot of homework for my final exams.

I had the driver s test.

and the college exam

which I ve passed all of them.

IDK why but if I am stressed everyone who talks with me just annoys me.

I have a lot of frustations cuz I lost a lot of money which I have preserved to buy a new phone

I think someone there in heaven loves me.

I thnik IDK how to enjoy little things in life and I want always more

oh

I almost forgot the best week when I wasn t alive with my mind just my body

when my math teacher sent me and my best classmates to a * camp math * she said.

and don t imagine there were firecamps and caffe talks with marshmallows above nope

just old desks with many hieroglyphs on them doing nothing fun just listen to the teacher s uninterrupted conversation on the phone.. and some Chinese on the board.. so fun

I know. Now you want to tell me that it was a good decision bc you learned for Bac

otherwise who wakes up at 7 on holiday? really now

Back to school ... so fun
after 3 weeks free
and then every teacher will expect us to be THE BEST because ”you have had so much time to learn, EVEN if it was Christmas and New Year's. 10 minutes everyday if you've read you would've known the lessons now ”
It's great to have 18y, they said. You can do what you want, they said. But they didn't say that you'll have many responsibilities.

                                                                  (best graph to describe my life now)

So.. I have to do 2 projects in one week. I don't get any insurance allocation, my bank card is empty (because someone had to go to the orthodontics) AND I'M KEEP ON GETTING ADMONITIONS THAT I HAVEN'T RETURNED A BOOK FROM SUMMER (btw it's my favourite book and I've already read it 5 times but I can not take it off. jorj bacovia).
I love doing school projects but sometimes you want to take a break. Why should my math teacher relax in Cyprus and I don't stay at home with a book in my left hand?
 Life it's easy.
Anyway.
I think you have to do what you like and not what others would like you to do.

Christmas holidays ... finally here, if you 're not in year 12 and you would want to lock yourself in the attic.  ” And at what university will you go to? ” (this kills me everyday)


I avoid to answer because I already know the reply:

”it's too far”,

 ”it's better if you stay near the house ”,

 ” ohh- that university? Are you sure? ” 

                            or 

”I think you'd better go to this university ... ”

 and other hundred of answers too.

only my big sister encouraged me to go and she said it is a good decizion (Thank you, sis)
Anyway I'm asking myself ”why not to say a good word instead of critisizing from heard-goings-on. I mean.. anyway after a few hours, you'll forget and you won't care where I'll be going.”

Because the only question you'll ask me, when we're gonna see each other again, will be ”so how much money do you get from this?” Everybody choses their university, career, decisions,, it's not like you'll die if you try.

Anyway.. I have to focus on my driving lessons cuz' I have an exam just in 5 days and I'm a bit stressed out ..

So why I made this blog?
5 months ago my phone broke and my whole money, I spent, was on driving lessons and right now I'm still broke. But I believe in Christmas miracle. So I think I should take a break posting on social media Sometimes I open the drawer to take a sheet to write a letter  and may also close Netflix :)) 

I think I'm changing everyday. But, anyway -not getting so emotional- 
so the reason is that I have thoughts every evening, that I would like to share with you- and me, too - because nobody is going to read this :))

My first post is just about my last night's thought 

I'll start with one of my school issue
One month ago
       one of my teacher got blocked on Facebook by the school site, but that's not the problem ...
just the friendship she tried to make to us, saying small gossips ... trying to make us to be on her side
like influence us to be how she is. It's annoying.  She saw that she didn't succed, despite us being very distinguished, so she made a friendship only with her favourite classmate.
     It's ok. Everyone has a teacher like that (I hope) :))
 so .. if we do a good thing, in class, she gives the reply ”yeah, you do it because she helped you.”
I don't want to ofense her, but it annoys me that same people aren't right ...  no more words to say about this..